Hello my name is Debbie,
In a way the last resort, before trying Fallen Angels was when I qualified with a community rehab qualification. This meant, I was sober and wasn’t taking any illegal drugs. I had shown a willingness to put in the hard work, I’d also shown up at groups like SMART Recovery, which sat right with me at the time because I was quite closed to the God thing.
There was a support worker who I had a connection with and valued what she said, her partner had experience with Fallen Angels Dance Theatre, and she said to have a look at what they did, because I might be interested in what they had to offer.
After looking at Fallen Angels I was blown away, they looked amazing. I was sure I would never be good enough to join such a wonderful group of talented people. I was grateful for the insight and carried on with my community rehab.
Life has a kind of way of leading you in directions which at the time we are completely blind to. For six years I was clean, I was working all the time, helping others to achieve their goals, I loved what I did, and life was proving to be a little more twisted than I ever imagined. I took a fall, and I was drinking again, but I knew I didn’t want to carry on that disruptive road of poisoning my mind, my body and my spiritual connection with the God of my understanding. Yes, I had found my spiritual aid and I wanted to get to that place again. As I went through the pains of detox, I remembered the Fallen Angels.
I still had such a willingness to try new things to help me with my sobriety, what did I have to lose, and by now I had a higher respect for myself. After a friendly reply and invitation on zoom, I managed to connect with the Angel’s. I remember feeling excited but nervous all at the same time. The morning of my first encounter I had so many silly things running around in my head like, who do you think you are? They will know you have just failed, and they will judge you on that. All sorts of nonsense. I stayed in bed, I didn’t want to face anyone or anything. I had 10 minutes before the session started and I forced myself onto zoom on my phone, so I would be really small, and I could hide if I wanted. I remember thinking Oh my God I can see Paul and he’s talking to me. Then thinking, it’s not that bad, well actually he’s very down to earth and he speaks my language. The workshop was a little blurry because of zoom but I really enjoyed it and I connected with the other Angels.
At the time, we couldn’t meet live because we just we were just about to start the lockdown. I knew it was for me because I really enjoyed the exercises and the little challenges that were set each time we connected on zoom. I think the Angels saved me as a person in recovery, and my sanity was saved throughout the difficult times that were ahead.
When we were allowed to meet live at the Black E in Liverpool, it was the most bizarre experience I’ve had in a long time. I was over the moon and quite emotional. We were a family of kindred spirits that supported one another and danced our feelings out. It has been one of the best experiences of my life and I am so proud to call myself a Fallen Angel! Paul and Clare have given me opportunities far beyond my imagination. My self-belief has grown, my confidence with other people has grown, and I know what I’m about.
Photo credit: Paul Bayes Kitcher